One of the most important decisions starts with where you want to “tie the knot“. I have seen and been to weddings in every place one can imagine (even on an airplane). The family home, backyards, parks, court houses, waterfront landings, beaches, restaurants, catering halls, formal ballrooms, and golf clubs all have been a part of my experience. I think that is every place imaginable and no I am not going to talk about a Church or the Elvis Chapel in Vegas here. Each of these places range in costs but budget aside my goal here is to give you the inside scoop of what to expect with each:
Family Home – at the low end of the budget we have intimate gatherings in the living room, usually consisting of a limited amount of people you can have unless you have a home like the Kardashians that can squeeze in over 20 people. You don’t have to worry about the time of year or weather. However, there is the accompanied stress factor that goes into a home wedding. All of the coordination and planning typically comes from trying to turn your home into a quaint wedding chapel.
Items to consider are:
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Parking
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Potential clean-up with any contracted services, such as caterers, florists, tent and seating rentals and other vendors who would be trucking in and out the house.
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Your photos. They will have the backdrop of your living space, which for some might question the photo of Uncle Jimmy on the wall behind their group photo shot.
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The one part you shouldn’t have to worry about is getting ready and having separate transportation requirements to get back and forth.
Family home weddings are great for couples looking to get married fast that might have a larger celebration down the line.
Backyard Weddings – this is the next step up from the “Family Home” wedding. It combines the inside and outside of the residence and has the potential for a great ceremony. For those that have seen the movie “Father of the Bride” with Steve Martin, outside of the stress in giving your daughter away there is the chaos that comes with people running around inside and out of the home. This could entail multiple days of setup and coordination.
You are going to have to contract separate vendors for items that most venues have already like chairs and tables. There will be a lot more time spent on themes, the style, the look of the backyard that most venues already have in place with their outdoor space. This is where you might want to consider having a wedding planner.
The other fact to consider is that most backyard weddings have no alternate plan for the weather. They typically are extended to a significant audience, but in case the sky opens up a downpour you will find your guests either running for cover or huddled into a tight outdoor tent.
Lastly, expect something to go wrong. The toilet over flows or there is no clean glassware. Anything and everything is up for grabs when it comes to a backyard wedding.
Parks – The open air, nature, and all that comes with it is what makes parks attractive to couples looking for their special space. Most of the times there is a small, nominal fee to reserve the space so definitely double check with the owner of the potential location. The worst thing that could happen is that you have all your guests arrive and it is little Susie’s 5th birthday in the same spot.
Also, do your research. Most parks do not have electric available, so realize things as simple as a microphone for your guests to hear might not be possible, unless you plan ahead by renting a generator. Parks run the same risk as the outdoor backyard wedding in case of inclement weather. A lot times the surrounding area of parks have a tendency to lack updated fixtures – think gazebos, bathrooms, benches – these might be worn and could cause a point of contention when Grandpa sits down and the bench gives way (maybe a couple memorable moments at the least). All the other aspects of planning a park wedding will require a lot of your attention to work on the setup. The little things like signs for guests to find their way thru the park need to be considered. Be prepared … you will get hot, sweaty and dirty. Plain and simple you are out in the elements. Leaves, dirt, water expect the wedding dress to be a little rough around the edges afterwards.
Court Houses – Nothing says marriage like a legal proceeding. It doesn’t have to be that way. Most mayors and wedding officiants are able to perform ceremonies within the courthouse, outside of the sitting judge, so look to bring someone from the outside in to make it more personable. The courthouse also has options for renting and reserving a separate room outside of the formal court room. The great thing about the courthouse is that the marriage license can be filed as soon as the deed is complete.
You will save time and expedite the processing and filling (depending on the business hours of the venue). There is typically a limit on how much you can decorate and setup. Judge Judy, for instance, doesn’t want her building overflowing with streamers, confetti and candles, so take that under advisement. The celebration will have to take place at another location so you have to plan for the additional travel and cost for that too.
Waterfront Ceremonies– We have now graduated to the lakes, rivers, and scenic views that could be part of a public space. The number one thing people forget about the water, whether on the beach or even with standing water are the acoustics. Sound does not travel well near water. It is in fact, absorbed, muffled and blocked by the water. Grandma will have to turn up her hearing aid so make sure there is a way to have guests up close to the ceremony or have the opportunity to use a microphone.
Most times the actual celebration will take place at another location so expect to shuttle guests and coordinate a separate drop-off location. You will also need to expect and consider the probability of wind. Items like candles are hit or miss, especially if they are meant to symbolize the eternal flame within the love the two of you that will never go out … unless it is extinguished by the Gales of November.
Beaches – Extending the waterfront theme is extending it to the world of sand … sand EVERYWHERE. Consider the fact that most beaches are public and expect gawkers and the possibility of “Jersey Shore” like characters walking past your wedding video in their string bikinis and banana hammocks.
Beach weddings, outside of the obvious outdoor elements, also have the probability of seasonal traffic considerations. You might have a special guest or even a family delayed to the ceremony because of gridlock. Beach weddings will most likely require a separate celebration location with coordinated transportation. They also require the same logistical help of a backyard wedding. The entire setup ranging from the chairs to the aisle runner needs to be worked out prior to your BIG day. There are some venues that package a beach wedding as part of their onsite location, but that falls under more of a formal wedding venue.
Crazy Wedding Experiences – They say expect the unexpected. That statement is definitely true when it comes to non-church weddings.
Just remember that outside of all the planning activities going on leading up to the ceremony, getting everyone together for the little things the day of the wedding, like: the marriage license signing, the lining up of the wedding party for the processional … that is sometimes a victory in itself.
Below are just some of the “special events” I have experienced as an officiant:
– Being precipitated on and performing the whole ceremony in the rain
– Having a gazebo trellis fall over mid-ceremony
– Having the microphone stop working, mid-ceremony
– Having the Best Man forget the rings
– Having a drunk groom, who couldn’t stay on his feet
– Having a late arriving bride (40 minutes) and even a bride and grooms parents arriving an hour late
There has yet to be a couple I haven’t married.
If you are planning a non-traditional wedding, like those talked about in this article, you need remember to be confident and a be or have a leader to make sure that the show must go on!
At “I Do, I Do” Wedding Officiants, we wholeheartedly believe that … Love is Love and Love is for EVERYONE … and so are our Wedding Services!
Whether you are looking to have your special day in an indoor or outdoor venue, a Christian, Non-denominational, or Non-Religious service … we have 20+ years experience making your special day, even greater!
We would love to be part of your SPECTACULAR nuptials … please, give the “I Do” Crew a shout … by email: WillYouMarryUs@outlook.com or visit our Facebook Page!
THE ADVENTURES OF SCUBA STEVE 